before i had kids i probably used to judge other people's parenting more than i do now. i know i did. however, now that i actually have kids i understand that parenting is challenging and before you try it you just don't know what things you might do that you said you would never do as a parent. i think i said i wouldn't let my babies use a pacifier, but that lasted about one day. and i might have said that i would never let my kids sleep in the bed with me, but sadie spent her 1st 2 years in our bed. i'm sure i could think of many more examples of things like that.
i've made a lot of mistakes as a parent and i'm sure i'll make many more. but today i witnessed 2 things that made me feel good.
first, i was walking into a store with hudson behind another mom with a baby and a 10 or 11 yr. old girl. the girl held the door open for me to push my stroller in. i thanked her and walked on in and then i heard the mom say "monique, hurry up and get in here....what are you doing"
monique: i was just holding the door for someone
the mom: what are you doing that for? you're not the door holder of this store. don't be holding doors open for people. now hurry up and come on.
monique looked at me and smiled. i smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
I felt sad for monique, but I felt confident that when my daughters are old enough to hold doors open for strangers with strollers, they will......and i'll tell them that i think it's a thoughtful and kind thing to do.....
Then, later i was walking out of target with all 3 kids and there was a family coming out behind us that also had 3. It had been raining and was very wet with lots of puddles outside. They had a daughter about 6 or 7 who stepped in a puddle and the mom just went crazy. She started yelling at her to never step in puddles and made her sit on the wet curb for a time out. So, she wouldn't let her step in a puddle with flip flops on, but made her sit on the wet curb and get her skirt all wet. She was yelling mean things to her daughter, telling her how naughty she is and then she pulled her by the arm to the car and was spanking her all the way there. I felt so bad for that little girl and she was crying. Camryn and Sadie couldn't take their eyes off them and I had to tell them several times to stop staring and get in the car. Sadie had a baby doll in the car and she immediately started telling her baby to not step in puddles and told the baby she needed a time out.
After witnessing both of those situations i had to be careful not to judge them and remember that i'm not a perfect parent. I have 4 parenting books sitting next to me right now that i need to finish reading. if only i had a few more hours in my days....
2 comments:
emme, i love when you share your parenting stories, and how you are so honest. i think you are an amazing mother, and you have three great kids as evidence. your love, kindness and grace for them is a wonderful example. thanks for sharing! i miss you.
-Heather
That was really touching it makes me sad too when I see kids not being respected, but I also know how as a parent I have lost it over small things and that makes me sad as well. I constantly remind myself to slow down and take it one day at a time. Your story reminded me of last week while we were at the lake Lexie and Jacob were swimming and having fun... the next thing I know they started a Mud fight(Lexie being oldest guess who always wins) Before I could even protest jacob got smaked in the face with a huge pile of mud (his eyes open). He is screaming "I can't See" Lexie saying "I'm sorry" Scott has completley lost it screaming Lexie what were you thinking your grounded for a month, Lexie but daddy I didn't mean to I'm sorry... I went into mom/nurse mode just wanting to take care of Jacob's eyes and trying to remain calm even though i wanted to say... Scott would you just shut up and help me with Jacob and we can deal with who is grounded later. There was one big family at the beach that was watching the whole thing I was thinking man they must think we are one crazy family. After about 15 minutes of flushing Jacobs eyes out with water he was ok but Lexie was still crying and upset, Scott is still mad and does not budge from his month long grounding. I'm thinking can we please just go home now and we can talk about this after everyone has cooled off. After we got home Jacob took a long nap and Lexie's grounding was decreased to the weekend. It amazes me how one minute you can be on the beach relaxing and enjoying nature and the next minute your world goes crazy with screaming and crying.......but with that aside we had a good day and agreed that we would have no more mud fights at the lake. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
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